So, I've finally done it. Re-entered the world of online journaling; anonymously, this time. I found myself both triggered and inspired by Campbell's Percolated Paradox blog.When I first found her journal I was feeling so lost, and reading her words felt like reading my own words out of someone else's mouth. I just wanted to reach out to her, connect with her.
That didn't happen, but in the intervening weeks I have stopped back by and found myself inspired to write again; my writing is the only good thing to come out of so much hurting. I suppose I have been writing all along, but they are all being directed into my therapists inbox.
When I made the decision to start another online journal, I was overcome with emotion and sobbing into my pillow while clutching a teddy bear given to me by by therapist, Dr. B. Now that the fog of grief is no longer clouding my mind, I am not sure what to write. My words are all fueled by my pain.
Hi Marnie. I saw that someone connected to my blog from this one today. Just wanted to say that I'm sorry that my blog is triggering. I delete entries pretty often because my filter doesn't work when I'm feeling bad.
ReplyDeleteWriting both helps and hurts me. It helps me to know I have place to vent, I often panic about the things I've written about.
I think relationships with therapists are triggering, at least mine was before we terminated. It's a complicated, anxiety inducing, too intimate and too disconnected relationship. It's kind of unnatural really.
You are a talented writer. :-)